Born: Nashville, Tennessee, USA, 1957
Mother tongue: American English
Grandchildren: Joelniqua, Donta, Donquarius, Kyfaria, Kymiyah, Karea, Ariya, Jo’elle
They call her: Momma
I learned to make this back when I was a teenager, from my mother. My momma would put this in an icebox when the summers would be long and hot here. That was before we could afford a refrigerator. It’s no baking necessary and actually one of the easiest desserts to pull together. Especially when you have a big ol’ family like ours and don’t have so much time to be preparing desserts as well as lunches and dinners.
I love to get in the kitchen and cook but my arthritis makes it hard these days. Growing up, my kids had home-cooked meals every single day. I used to make homemade pizzas on Fridays. That would be the treat. Homemade back in those days was different to what it is today. My daughter’s homemade is buying a box pizza from the store and adding a little topping to it. I would make my own dough, roll it out – what it really means to homemake something. Spaghetti tetrassini was my specialty and my sons still make that for their kids. That was spaghetti, shredded chicken and cream of mushroom soup. All baked together in the oven. My grandkids are not cooking at all. They’re eating out. It’s McDonald’s and whatever else they get fast. It’s a different situation now because everything has gotten so convenient.
I had babies around the same time I learned to make this pie. It was real early to be having babies. I was 16 years old when I had my first. I was a baby myself. I have so many great-grandbabies already and I think I have a good 20 years left in me, minimum. My grandmother lived until 102 and my mother is 87. I may well get to see another generation in my lifetime. Great-great-grandbabies. We celebrate children in this family but we’re trying to break the cycle of having them so young. My daughter was 16 when she got pregnant, too.
When you have a lot of support, it’s not so bad. The rule is to not continue to have them. It’s worse having the babies later in your thirties because your nerves get pretty bad then. It makes a difference being young and having the energy and right mental attitude. When I fell pregnant so young, my family was supportive of me. My mother and father probably talked, but not where I could hear it. It’s not about making a kid feel bad or feel worse than what they already feeling anyways. It’s about the support that you give. With mine, I’ve always been there for them. Anything I can do for them, I will still do today.
When the same thing happened to my daughter, I already knew before she figured out a way to tell me. I had been pregnant four times. I knew what it felt like and looked like. I could see it on her. I was just waiting on her to come clean and tell me. Still, I would rather them learn for themselves than me tell them everything that’s going on out there in the world. It’s the same for my grandkids, too.
Experience is the best thing and you get that all on your own. Having my kids and grandkids and great grandkids has been amazing. To be able to be here to see them all grow is just the best experience I have ever had. A lot of kids don’t get to even know their grandmommas. I have this whole bunch of kids that I’m able to be a part of raising.
Men have come and go. You can’t make somebody want you when they don’t. Number one, I don’t have time for foolishness and if that’s going to take my mind elsewhere – no. You need to focus on your family. The minute you have kids, the focus goes away from men and onto those babies.
